Ironically, I was talking to someone about LeBron James’ sense of entitlement.  How he feels that he deserves to get things without actually working hard for it and it dawned on me, that this is exactly what my son is doing.

As a mother, I want him to succeed and live a happy life, of course.  Time and time again, he’s let opportunities slip by because he didn’t want to put in the work, or I guess he just lost interest, or something.  I honestly don’t know what his deal is.

Anyway, as I was talking about in my other post, we had talked and were planning on him to come up here and finish school via online and then plan for his future.  He went home to Atlanta and the only thing he had to do was schedule his driving test (because I don’t own a car, and if he already had a license, it’s A LOT easier to transfer to PA).  A week goes by and he still hasn’t scheduled it.  His dad said he tried once, it was busy, and he hasn’t done anything since.  This really frustrated me, because it’s something that really needs to be done, and I don’t want him to wait until the last minute to get everything.  There was also a hefty list of paperwork to collect in order to transfer up to school here, and his father has been working on that list, while my son lies in bed with his girlfriend, or gets tattoos on his chest and taking pictures of it for facebook while flipping the bird.

Exhibit A:

On top of all this, he’s not returning my call.

Needless to say, I’m livid.  I left a really angry message on his phone, letting him know that his future is in his hands.  If he wants to finish school up here, he is to get the list of paper work from his dad and ask him to arrange transportation (or assistance if needed) to get all the documentation he needs.   He must get his driver’s license as well, and if it isn’t all done by the time school starts, his window of opportunity in Philadelphia will close and when his phone contract ends in October, I’m not renewing it.  I haven’t heard a peep from him.

I’ve pretty much had it.  He KNOWS this is going to be one of his last chances to graduate with a diploma.  He KNOWS how important it is. Yet, he does nothing to work towards this goal and I’m tired of doing it for him.

We may not have the ability to control what happens to us, things happen, which is understandable.  But it’s inexcusable to do nothing and expect something and I’m not going to support it.

I’m so frustrated and irate and more over, disappointed.  I thought this was going to be it.  He was finally going to knuckle down and work towards SOMETHING.

I apparently was wrong.

Now let me go find my “Mean Mother” badge and wear it with pride.


a new beginning?

I have an 18 year old son.  He’s not my son by blood, I raised him from the time he was about 2 months old until he was around 7.  His father and I were married until he was 7 and he (my son) told me outright, that I am his mother…. regardless what a stupid DNA test may say 🙂

When his dad and I divorced, he moved to Atlanta, where things really went downhill.  He’s in an area that really isn’t a good environment to raise kids.  A lot of violence, fighting, etc.

During that time, I was trying to get myself together (when I married his dad, I was around 22), I worked hard and got into the IT field when it was still new (back in 1993-4).  Thank god, too, because I didn’t need certifications OR a degree (which I have neither).  But these kind of advantages really aren’t there for him, because the requirements are so much more higher now.

Now I’m looking at an 18 year old that is teetering on dropping out of highschool because he can’t seem to get the credits because he can’t concentrate on his work where he lives.

My boyfriend and I have decided to have him move up here and finish school online.  I work at home, so he’ll have more structure and I’ll make sure he does exactly what he needs to do to get his work done.

I”m just completely terrified.  I don’t want to fail him.  I want him to do well, I want him to be happy and not have to settle because he didn’t get a good foundation in his life.

Wish me luck.

Hello world!

Yes, I know that is the standard title for first posts, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t appropriate 🙂

Allow myself to introduce… myself.

My name is Samirah.  I’m in my 40’s.  I’m not married, but I’m very much involved.  I have 2 kids, well, they’re not exactly kids anymore, my daughter 22 and my son is 18.

I’m adopted, I’m 1 of 10 kids, (all but 2 are adopted).  My mom died about 5 years ago, my dad is awesome.

I really do enjoy my life, though it feels like I’m constantly “getting ready” for things instead of them actually happening…. dreaming… wishing, all that mess.

I am multi-ethnic, but honestly, I think I fit in just about anywhere.

I love animals, I paint (though, not as often as I should), I’m attempting to grow a garden… which may have been demolished by a hail storm we had about 3 hours ago 😐

I’m not religious, I basically live by the rule of being a good person, and think I’m doing a damned good job at it (I said GOOD, not MODEST hahaha!).

I have a pretty dry sense of humor, too… if it’s not dry, it’s so left field that only people close to me probably think it’s funny.

I used to have a favorite color: pink  But now, I’m not so definitive.  I like brown, green, blue and tan just as much, now.

I decided to write a blog because of a friend of mine’s blog.  She writes so well, and she inspired me.  Not that this is my first blog ever, but I haven’t written one in several years.

So, I guess that’s enough for now, I don’t intend to talk JUST about my life, I’ll be talking about other things.. video games ( I LOVE video games), gadgets, politics, all kinds of crap.

Doesn’t that sound like FUN?!?  Of course it does!

Welcome to my world 🙂

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